I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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