I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
