p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
