i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
