I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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