At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
We were destined to go to rehab together
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
