im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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