you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
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