your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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