A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
