You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
