I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize