I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
40s are totally the cure
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
