i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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