I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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