Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
