i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
P.S. I can't hear my feet
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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