I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
