Ambien. No doubt about it.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
