at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
