im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
