I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
is it fun? or sober?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
