Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
