Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
