just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
it's like heaven, but drunker
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
