yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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