see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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