we're chasing vodka with high fives
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
