Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
