i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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