Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Screwed.edu
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
