I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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