When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Randomize
