he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
