I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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