so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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