4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
