I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
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I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
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Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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