YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
