There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Too much gin, very little bucket
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
