Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
