...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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