i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
