nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
