very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Who died my cat blue again?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
