Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I think my fart just growled at me.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I have aggressive nipples.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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