piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
