I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
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