Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
