Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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