Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
