The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
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