Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
