I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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