Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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