No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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