Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
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I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
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