So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
