I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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