I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize