So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
