Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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