I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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